Experiments in Revision, Part 2

Lisa McCool-Grime
Senior Poetry Editor

Tanka is a Japanese form that can be roughly approximated in English with five lines using a syllabic pattern of 5-7-5-7-7. When I first began working with it, I found it to be an amazingly tidy container for difficult to contain emotions. So in reading Niki’s first draft, I immediately thought of this form—not the syllable count, but the clarity and density of emotion it insists on. In this first total re-vision, Niki Selken scraps the previous poem and uses the spirit of tanka to focus the 300+ words of her first draft into a single image.

Poetry by Niki Selken

trying to forget
mom’s door closed against
all my Christmas memories
like unopened presents
her gun in a small brown pouch}

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The Splinter Generation is a place by and for people born between 1973 and 1993. It's a venue for writers, artists and musicians from all different backgrounds to tell the story of our generation. More on us here.

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